Beth's first PA Kate

My first personal assistant was employed using direct payments from Social Services when I was 12 years old. In hindsight the decision on who to employ was actually quite easy, although it felt both daunting and exciting at the time.

Whilst at primary school (up to age 11) Kate had been spending time with me in school holidays to do my oro-motor programme, and if I was invited to a party came with me, rather than taking Mum. By the time I was 12 Kate was in the sixth form at school, it seemed just a natural step for her to become my assistant for 5 hours each weekend. At that stage she was more like a big sister than an assistant, and this worked fine for us both. Mainly we went shopping, met friends from school, or if I wanted to chill out we stayed home and did craft, or watched a film.

When Kate went off to university I was 14. My next PA was Stephi, she was just going into the sixth form, and was the daughter of one of Mum’s friends. Again, it wasn’t a difficult decision as I had plenty of time to get to know her. We enjoyed spending time together every week for the next 2 years. Stephi did some extra hours in school holidays, and she also travelled with us as a family to Barcelona for the ISAAC conference, just before she went off to university.

When I was 15 Becky also joined the team on an adhoc basis, Becky was a couple of years older than me and we had known her as a volunteer through boccia for 4 years.

My relationship with Becky was much more as equals, friends, and she worked with me on and off for over 7 years, we did my first night alone at home together, and went off camping for a week. Becky remains a really good friend.

In my last year at school I bumped into Adele at London 2012 while we were watching boccia. I’d known her a few years as the PA of a friend. Adele was on a year out from finishing her degree and starting teaching, she joined me first to spend a week in Strasbourg when we attended an independent living workshop with ENIL. After that we were, and continue to be, firm friends and throughout that year she did an amazing job in all sorts of ways, not least supporting me through my university interviews.

From the age of 18 I had had additional funding in the school holidays. At various points before I went off to university at age 19 I was joined by Emily, Sarah and Jess. All of whom were lovely and recommended by previous PAs. The only person during this time who joined the team without us knowing her beforehand was Elle, now another friend. She was definitely a lucky find, we gelled from the first time we met.

Mum says her approach at this time was to treat all the girls as a second daughter, yes, they were employed, but as many were under 18 they too were young and impressionable and she felt a duty of care to them. Their role was to be with me, and I was still living at home, having the girls let me have the space I needed to grow as a person, to experience new things away from my parents. We did bus and train travel, went into London, went out for days, met friends, went off to the cinema, stayed in or just took a picnic onto the Downs.

From me being 18 Becky, and then Adele, became nominated drivers for my van and so I got that extra freedom to not need to rely on my parents to ferry us around.

Having direct payments and recruiting this way was easy whilst I was still at school/home, and I didn’t realise until later how lucky we had been with the girls who joined me in my teenage years. But in hindsight, based on my later experiences, I would get to know the person you are going to spend your time with, as well as you can, before you commit. This is just like any new relationship when you might start out with a chance conversation, progress to going out for a drink, then a meal before moving onto spending time away on holiday together, or making a commitment to share lives.

From being aged 12 every PA has been employed with a formal contract of employment, using a payroll company to ensure tax and other deductions are made. Each team member has always had a job description and regular reviews.

Coming next: Starting university and living independently.